Todd Rundgren

Hiya swingin' sweetie,

Have not written to you lately. You don't seem much "into" the conventional (21st century--can't blame ya there...) communication "social networking sites." So, this is drivel, just from me to you.

thus, we begin. "Hello, (J), it is me."--andre

Apparently we been around me for a long long time.....maybe I think too much, but I've had a lot of time to think about it.....since the events of Sept 2004 transpired, not that long after the human press reported you mating with a male (human? It is not relevant, don't bother not answering...) I want you to know that I did not even notice at the time. That is a good sign, I think. I guess I was not (consciously) "so into you" yet at that time to notice. I don't mean to demean your nuptials in Negril. Really. I got married young first too. I pass no judgement. I am just glad (for my own HUMAN reasons) that you have not had a child with him. You can divine why I feel this way.

What has been bugging me for a long time is, just how was it.......that I happened to feel your head (your "mental presence") in my head, at that time, in that place, after a sacred ritual with a person who was dangerous to me eventually--suddenly, I hear YOU knocking in my head, wanting me to open the door. So, there I was, merged with my lover, both physically and mentally (melded) and here you come a knockin'......what are the odds of THAT?!! YOU in particular?! Your alter ego should be able to calculate the odds quite quickly and exactly for me--how about you? Have you thought thru these things, (code word for woman of my life) deeply?

It was almost "as if" you were somewhere nearby my then apartment in San Mateo California--were you? It was off 3rd avenue. So, in retrospect, I can only conclude since there are no accidents---and all is connected tho not necessarily causally, that you were AWARE OF ME or of me as some mental presence PRIOR to the time you asked to jump into our holy bond. FYI I have never spoken to "Sabrina" about you entering the mental picture. I never spoke to her of you at all--yet if this is what I feel it to be, she is or has been dealing with you mentally too.

So, when you ambushed me in Amsterdam and Sabrina even showed up once personally---again--astronomical odds against this too-----it show me you are dangerous too (but, in this case it is ok--even needed) and devious (or your culture's word for it....) even. So, that's how long you been "on me." I believe it is because I was socialized and trained to pay attention to space and otherworldly ways of thinking since 1966, so, I watched what is called television shows (programming they call it) which of your sort, I will just call "the historical documents" or maybe at times, I will slip and use the word I despise (b/c of PTSD/abuse) "episode." I know that blows your mind Jo that I would say that......

Thus, if there is a point to this rambling bunch of hooey, my lovely, it is that b/c of who you were on the historical documents, you had a "bully pulpit" to reach my mind easily. Now, I guess Brannon Braga and others also figure into the cosmic scheme of all this, but let me not complicate my meager thought line...

Almost all my friends are telling me to "forget about you." They rightly point out how you ruthlessly (seemed this way to me) fucked with my mind, over and over, in A'dam....and how I should stop making YOU a priority, when I am clearly STILL just an OPTION to you. I still feel about you as I said on phone July 14th. For what I am worth.

Love. Please watch this video. You will get it. I will get it. The "supervisors" keep telling me that one.....well, goddamnit I'm a doctor, not a person who just can wait forever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsQrkI2mtbs&feature=grec_index

Also people who know you well tell me that you do believe in love. Andre